warning: this gets mushy

“have you noticed you say ‘no’ more often? you know, after letting that thing go”?

sonetimes it’s difficult to know be certain of when something actually began- a feud, a romance, a pattern- i don’t know exactly what it is but recently the ways of manipulators (the feel here is more energetic than personal, just btw fyi) have been becoming illuminated like the led lights on an artificially scented christmas tree. they are always, there, but they have to be on… visible, in order to spark a change in atmosphere, or in this case reality.

it seems hindsight truly is 20/20, brighter than 90s polaroids. things just become more true… so anyway, here’s one: they like to breadcrumb (‘*gasp*’ i know. ‘*sigh* i know. ‘a… a buzz word?!’ yes, and i love the drama, but seriously hear me out) breadcrumb you so that when they finally decide to give you even just a slice of the loaf you’re famished and damn near feral for even just a taste of some arbitrary result (*deep breath*) you know… like “the dream…” the one they spoon feed you in between bites of crumbs! that’s how they get you!

whew.

lawd.

okay. let me tell you something.

i can hold your hand if you like (just slide me the hand sanitizer after).

never shame yourself for how long it took you to leave something unhealthy behind.

whether it be a relationship, sugar, a job, or alcohol, the moment you decided to act in favor of your highest good is the moment you completely altered the rules of the game! hey, that’s a good thing! you are not in anyone else’s time. the ones phasing out of your reality may not agree, the ex or the homie, but it wouldn’t change the fact that learning the ability to remain secure, assertive, and in-tune is an immeasurable wealth of experience. it’s a well.

talk about gettin’ it out the mud! assertive? secure?

please allow me to ask you this: have you noticed you say ‘no’ more often? you know, after letting that thing go? notice how you’ve stopped tolerating, or even acknowledging, as much disrespect and foolishness? guess what that is? (just a note here: for some, the healing in action looks like calling every damn thing out! you know who you are, people pleasers! i’m always talking to myself first, always remember that) that’s self-worth, but acted upon. that’s true power you feel! that’s showing yourself approved.

now, please allow me to inform you of this, and then i’ll let you go (so long as you come back!!! i love your presences, truly). okay, so…

you are being approved for your highest good! it’s yours! no payments, no pesty (i said what i meant!) landlords, just upkeep and proof of success! you can do everything you put your mind to; that includes sabotage. why not embrace all you are (yes even the fiery version that resembles jack jack) so as only you fit the bill for whomever is to receive this portion?

idk… i think i’m with it.

peace be!